So if you haven't figured out already I am a college student residing in New York City. I love this city more than anything at this point and any guy I meet is held up to the same standards that I have for it. I feel living in this city encourages dating older men. It is actually pretty hard to find men closer in age to me that live here and are not gay. The city is old and in it, it houses some old souls. There is a maturity that you need to survive here and I find boys in there early 20's really aren't cut out for it yet. My friends and I however have seemed to get by so far and each day it embraces me a little more.
Today in one of my classes we were talking about the Pheadrus by Plato. I found it very relevant what the topic was about in relation to my life and this blog. Not to get into too many philosophical details, but basically Plato is writing about ideals of possessive love through different speeches that are recited. An older man is searching for a younger, vulnerable man to take advantage of. We came to the idea that in today's world that situation can go both ways, but when the situation is reversed and it is the younger person reaching out to the older person, example Anna Nicole Smith marring that old guy, it is usually for financial reasons. Although this is true in a lot of cases I wanted to be clear that this is not what my motives are. I like older men because yes they can take me out and treat me to things younger men can't, but along with that I seem to click with them better. It is so much more than nice dinners and events. Very few younger men at this point in my life are able to stimulate me in the same ways older men can.
For example the first man I will talk about, that got me started, was Mr. Apricot. For confidentiality I will call all of these men I write about a nick name as to not embarrass them if they ever read this. Anyways, Mr. Apricot is 12 years older than I am. He is a Marketing Stratagist and is doing very well for himself at the age he is. Mr. Apricot and I first got together New Year's Eve of this year 2011. The first time we met though was at a social networking party sometime in October of 2010. Since New Year's we saw a lot of each other especially for NY standards. At least once a week there was a dinner date followed by a sleepover, then breakfast the next morning. Mr. Apricot even invited me to Las Vegas with him only a few weeks after we hooked up New Year's Eve, but being the rational being that I am I politely declined.
At first everything was pretty great with this guy. Nice dinners and champagne back at his place afterwards followed by long chats and then to bed. This guy really seemed to be interested in me and I actually started getting mixed feelings about him. I went back and forth many times with myself as to if I really liked this guy or if I just liked what he was offering me. He had an arrogance about him that I liked, hence the name Mr. Apricot. He got his name because the night he came home from Vegas he took me to a wine bar, where he ordered several different wines for tasting and apricots for palate cleansing. Now if you saw how arrogant he was being and chauvinistic while eating a freaking apricot you would call him the same thing. Anyways like I said at first he was great and I decided I really did like him.
Maybe a month and a half in to dating him I told him I wanted to get a little more serious and be his girlfriend. He wasn't really responsive to this at all and in fact warned me about getting mixed up with a guy like him. I may be young but I'm not stupid...when someone tells you something like that it means they just aren't into you. After that I still continued to see him but all of his effort that he had been putting into me was gone. Nice evenings with passionate nights turned into lazy evenings in with so so sex. I began to feel like a booty call and was tired of it. There was no romance or effort.
The whole affair sort of fizzled out. I stopped responding to his text messages and he didn't really make any efforts to get me back. The tricky part of it all though is that him and I are somewhat in the same circle of friends, so I knew it wouldn't be the last of him. I figured we would run into each other at a party but surprisingly it was in front of his apartment.
One night I was out with a friend and I realized we were in his neighborhood. Being drunk, silly, girls I went to ding dong ditch him. The problem was though he was outside getting into his apartment. He invited us up for champagne and well...we started seeing each other again. This time however it did not last as long and when an invite went around to stay at his Hampton's house over 4th of July and I wasn't invited, I dropped him like a hat.
This is what I mean about older men that you have to be careful about. Mr. Apricot is a prime example of both facts/rules that I have. When you sleep with a man older than you that means nothing to him. I didn't sleep with him the second time around and I thought I would land myself a spot in his Hampton's house that weekend. He was obviously not in the mood for my games and instead decided to see what would be out in the Hampton's instead. I learned my lesson from the first time around with him. I didn't enjoy feeling like a booty call and I didn't want him to have the satisfaction of screwing me anymore. The second time only validated my suspicions even more and I'm glad I never went there with him again.
After all of this with him I still hear from him every once in a while. Like I said we have mutual friends and about two weeks ago Friday was a birthday party that one of our friends had. Mr. Apricot was suppose to come but he didn't show. Some of our friends still think that we hang out together and asked me to find out where he was. Since then I have gotten a few texts from him, one in fact telling me that he was again in Vegas and was thinking of me. This I found so funny and didn't care about. Finally I know now that I have been broken from his spell and I know there are better guys out there for me.
Mr. Apricot wasn't all bad. He is a nice guy on a surface level and we will probably remain somewhat friends. This affair taught me a lot about what I want right now and what I can handle on an emotional level. It taught me a lot about the art of older men and to that I want to thank Mr. Apricot for the time we spent together.
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